Some people call them idols, some call them wishes or goals or even responsibilities. Whatever they call it, it’s the biggest danger to families. And it has the power to destroy the world.
And it starts with you…
What is Candy?
So what am I talking about when I say candy can end family? Well first of all I am NOT saying that you must go on a no-candy diet. Candy is what I call idols.
Everyone has their own piece of candy. They’ll do anything and everything to keep it. They’re like a little toddler fighting over a piece of gum.
Candy can be anything. It could be a clean house, or a good looking body, or a pet or even your work. It could be blogging or a ministry of some sort. All of these things CAN become idols.
Something does not become an idol because it is, in and of itself bad, but because we place it above God or place it before what God has called us to do.
A mother can claim that it’s her job to keep the house clean, but if it’s place before her God-given responsibility of family, it becomes an idol. The same with a father providing for his children. If he is not LEADING his family he is not doing what he is called to do.
“Walk worthy of the calling of which you are called.” Ephesians 4:1
How does it work?
Part of what can become candy is who we are, our personalities. What we like and what we don’t like is a part of who we are. Our failures make us human and our differences make us a family. Our aspirations can bind us. And each of us, brought together can become an amazing team of very different talents.
A paint canvas looks amazing after the color has been placed on it. The blank canvas, all one color, is not considered a masterpiece.
But when you have two people with very different tastes who put those tastes in front of their God given relationship you can have a candy explosion.
You see just because I like the color yellow and my mother doesn’t does not mean that I am wrong or she is right. It means we have different tastes that should be set aside when building a relationship together.
Sin or tastes
Now there is a big difference between tastes and sin. It could be your taste to talk with a British accent but it is a sin to cuss. It could be your taste to wear curtain colors but it would be a sin to wear clothes your father did not approve of.
Do you see what I mean? There are times when candy can be bad in and of itself. But there are also time when it is as harmless as a dove.
Give it up or hold on to it
If it is a sin I would strongly encourage you to give it up. But if it is a taste I would say to lay it aside for later.
For example, your mother might not like yellow on you. But in the future your husband might. Also although she might not like yellow referring to clothes that doesn’t mean you have to give up yellow blankets or yellow decorations.
Here’s a real life example. My mom has allergies, so we can’t uses perfume or incense in the house. But when we’re married we can enjoy the smells we loved from the store.
So if you are debating with yourself giving up a bit of candy, measure it against the life time relationship you can create or destroy right now with your family.