“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
Ok, that is probably the hardest thing I have ever said. Humility comes hard, and usually through a lot of pain, but the lessons learned are priceless. Admitting you’re wrong, especially to your parents, is excruciatingly painful.
Disobedience is possibly the most common sins on the earth and in history. But it doesn’t have to be. There is hope. And my journey towards a flourishing relationship with my parents is just beginning.
The first step is understanding you’re wrong, until that happens even the most convincing words will fall on deaf ears. The problem with disobedience is theological just like everything else. When you (like me) think that you have a right to argue a point with your parents, it is due to a twisted theology that must be corrected or it will take you down a path that will destroy your future and your children’s.
It was not until I realized that I had no right to argue, that my eyes were open to how much I was sinning, and worst of all how much I was hurting my parents. The only right I have as a child is to obey my parents unless a command goes directly against the Word of God.
My twisted theology effected me more than I realized. Not only did I believe I had a right to argue but I also began to believe that my parents did not love me and that they were seeking to destroy my future because theirs didn’t turn out like they wanted it to. I also believed that because I was right and they were wrong, and we both held tightly to our beliefs, that we would never have a good relationship.
On top of all that I believed that my situation was unique. Scripture says to obey your parents, I thought there were exceptions. Friends told me that my parents wanted the best for me, I thought there were exceptions. Preacher says that the church is falling a part and us children need to honor our parents to help build it back up. You guessed it, I thought there were exceptions.
The hardest thing to take away from this lesson learned is the fact that I can’t just impart this wisdom to my siblings, I have to watch them make the same foolish mistakes that I did until they learn for themselves the hard way. And that’s a hard punishment for everything I’ve done the past 17 years of my life.
The second step on the journey to reformation is admitting to your parents that you were wrong and apologizing for it. Now this was actually easier than I expected because the LORD had been preparing me for it for a while. But it was the biggest healing step. It also shut a door behind me.
Now none of this is to say that I never talk back, or cast attitude, or murmur. There are times my parents still piss me off. Because, guess what, they’re sinners! And they always will be. But I didn’t under go some surgery that removed all sin from me, I under went a trial that strengthened me. That means I have more strength to greet my temptations with, not that the temptations will stop coming.
So it’s a battle, and some days you won’t want to fight it, you’ll feel like quitting or maybe pulling your hair out. You’ll scream and cry, you’ll seek an escape. But here’s the great thing about unconditional love, not only are you always turned back to it, but it’s always waiting. And the more you fail, and consequently get back up, the less you’ll leave it’s caring arms.
As little as you may believe this, there is a happy ending. Don’t ever give up hope. Because as dark as your relationship might seem at the moment, your parents love you, and it kills them every time they fail you. So cut them some slack, hang on, and pray. But most of all hope, and lean on Jesus Christ. The thing about escapes is that they’re but for a moment, and LORD in his great mercy and wisdom will cut one after one off until all you have left is him, and his perfect plan.
You were meant to be here with your parents. The LORD never makes a mistake, and if you truly believe that then you must believe that it applies to your parents as well.